Blessed Is The One Who Does Not Walk With The Wicked

“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers. Therefore, the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor the sinners in the assembly of the righteous.” Psalm 1:1 & 1:5

Deep down I knew that my second marriage was wicked. I didn’t understand why God was allowing these horrible things to happen; not only to me but to those I loved most. It was effecting them, and negatively. I was so wrapped up in seeing everything through the wrong filter; causing confusion, delusion, pain, suffering and desperation. I thought I was suppose to suffer to pay for my past wrongs. I kept asking God, “Isn’t this enough? Have I not paid you back in full and then some?” And then I would be reminded again and again by my second husband that he was still not over my past sins, most of them he wasn’t even involved in personally.

It’s weird looking back at it now, when it seems so obvious how diluted it all was. And it’s hard to explain what I was going through emotionally and physically to keep staying there, absorbing blow after blow, believing I deserved every second of it. But that is sort of the point. Women especially stay in abusive relationships for a core reason and they are very similar. Making it almost impossible to leave. And that’s how it’s designed. The devil wastes no time in studying human behavior and you have to remember that he was able to get into Adam and Eve’s head from the very beginning. And it hasn’t stopped.

He is counting on oblivious living, distraction and addictions. Then once he hooks you, he goes back and covers you with guilt and shame for listening to him in the first place. It’s this well-designed structure from beginning to end to enrapture our minds, our hearts, and our lives. There is a reason why the armor of God is 90% defensive. And that is why we need to constantly put it on- even though it should never be coming off in the first place. But if you envision putting on certain parts of the armor especially while the devil is attacking you- you can feel the protection it carries.

God’s word protects us, more consistently than we realize and it never tires, giving us more of the upper hand until the devil finally resists us. He is ruthless but he does have an end. I’ve learned that he will continue attacking from all sides, angles and through different people until he has exhausted himself. When we flee from him and cling to God, and we do this every time- he eventually gives up. When he and his cohorts realize that our prayers are the strongest weapons in our arsenal and we know how to use them, he begins to flee from us. Then he puts more energy into those around us and starts all over again.

Of course, while I was in that relationship, I didn’t know any of this. Sadly, they didn’t teach me these useful tactics in church growing up. I learned about the flood, and how men had more than one wife and it all was just stories to me. I didn’t take the time to learn who God was on my own. And I only allowed others to teach me, and I believed that was enough. It’s that simple of how I strayed. I wasn’t purposefully being rebellious against God. On the contrary. I screwed up my first marriage by having an affair because I hadn’t dealt with parts of me I didn’t realize were that messed up. And in doing so, I wanted to undo what I did so bad, I thought that if I submitted myself to the guy I was with- it would fix everything. Did you catch that? I thought, so I did.

My intentions were in the right direction of wanting to ensure that my unresolved junk didn’t get in the way of my relationship; however, I missed one very critical aspect to this theory. I was still thinking for myself and not taking the time to seek God on my own. And that right direction would have lead me to God- because He would of been leading, if I surrendered sooner.

Instead, I lead myself. Right into hell. If I had God lead me, I would have gotten healed and gained clarity through His love, His forgiveness and His word. I didn’t take the time to be alone or be single. I thought I could fix my mistakes on my own by giving the position of God to someone else. My personal position was correct in a way, ensuring that I had someone as my head… I just choose the wrong head. And I paid for it dearly. I lost everything and everyone and what I got in return was a disgusting perspective on how people can think and behave and I was forced to participate. I shouldn’t know the things I do now. If I could go back, I would gladly return these thoughts, images and words and not even keep the receipt.

Most people are shocked by recent information that was released. Sadly, I am not. This is not new news for me. I understand how evil works in a way I never did before. We all however need to decide what to do with this information. Some turn away, because we don’t want to think about these things. It’s not easy or fun to think about of course.

However; with this knowledge, we have a responsibility. One to expose the darkness and drive it out. Light always drives away darkness. We are called to be the light of the world. The world ya’all. That’s a lot of light. But we are not alone in doing this. I am here for you, and I trust you are here for me. And we than join with others like-minded unity to stand together- fighting this evil. When we all wear our own armor, and get in formation- there is power in numbers.

How do we begin?

With prayer. Our most powerful weapon God has ever given us.

Then we wrap ourselves with truth - place on righteousness over our hearts - secure our reminder of salvation over our minds- place peace on our feet as we walk- shield ourselves with faith- consume constantly the word of God and use it to fight the devil - and continue to pray because prayer is meant for warriors.

"[Those who delight in the Lord] is like a tree planted firmly by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and who leaf does not wither- in whatever they do." Psalm 1:3